Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Be still, my beating vagina.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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