we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
