May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
