is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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