i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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