Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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