Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
