just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
All the doctor said was why
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
