i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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