Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
