I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
