It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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