We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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