he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize