If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
