Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
