I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
