So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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