I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
