Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
