sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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