Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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