i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize