The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
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