My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
