If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
