i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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