Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
How's work?
Spinning.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
