the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
