So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
