I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
