I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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