How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
