how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
