btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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