The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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