As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize