My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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