Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
