Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
