she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
