If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
