yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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