My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
