So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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