i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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