you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
