its not stalking. its research.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
