when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
