We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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