Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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