ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
