i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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