he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
