She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
