I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
