Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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