i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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