DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
