so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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